Timmis

I was thrilled to be a man
I was elated
Except for one thing
I went to work for the scientific research community
Up to that point, I'd always been called Timmy

But there was this one dude there
Cossett Sr
He always called me by my real name

Hey, Timmis

Ugh, dude, can we just not do this today

I need the ammonia oxide, Timmis

It's Timmy, Cossett
How many times do I have to tell you, Timmy, please

That's not what it says on your nametag, Timmis

Yeah, I understand, yes, my legal name is Timmis
But I would really appreciate if you called me Timmy

Oh, your name's Timmy 'cause you're a little boy
Why don't you grow up and go by your real name, Timmis

Shut the fuck up, Cossett

Hold on, let me—let me peer review that name tag
Oh, it looks like Timmis

Stop it, dude

Why don't you come calibrate this barometer for me, Timmis?

We don't even use barometers in here
This is like a chemical reaction lab
What are you talking about?

The only chemical reaction going on in this lab
Is you getting mad about your own name

Dude, I'm not mad I'm just asking you please don—

Bring it over here, Timmis

Dude, please just sto—

I'm not gonna call you Timmy, Timmis
That's for little—Timmy's for little boys
Your name's Timmis
Timmis, we need the nitrate, now
Oh, oh, oh, I meant to say Timmy
Timmy, bring me the— oh your name's Timmy cause you're a little boy

Timmis
Timmis
Oh, Timmis
Timmis
Timmis, Timmis, Timmis, Timmis
Little Timmis
Timmis
Timmis
Timmis
Little Timmis

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally (Timmis)
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me (Oh, Timmis)
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

I think this is affecting me mentally
Like long term shit it's gonna fuck with me
I think that this is gonna fuck me up
Why does everybody always call me that?

Why does everybody call always
Call me that
Call me that

So I did the only thing I could
I quit my job
Faked my death
Started a new life

In Schenectady, New York
As a music journalist
But even in that gig
I couldn't go by Timmy

I had to be Tim

Tim Schenectady

'Cause I've been bullied
Too many times
And now I'm gonna lose my mind
Because you all fucked me up

Bullied
Too many times
And now I'm gonna lose my mind
Because you all fucked me up

Wow, I'm actually just realizing
I'm actually just realizing I'm really mentally affected by all this
I think all these memories—they're—they're making me really bitter
All these experiences
And I've just been giving all these artists terrible reviews
What have I been doing with my life?
Thomas, T—listen!
From now on, every album
Every album we do gets a hundred, across the board
This is—This is not gonna be an
Be another one of those negative-case making sites
This is going to be a place for positive thinking
People who love music are gonna flock to this
Every album gets a perfect score
From now on this is a new era of music journalism
Every album is gonna be a number one fucking hit
Because of us