On The Open Road

Do ya need a break from modern livin'?
Do ya long to shed your weary load?
If your nerves are raw and your brain is fried
Just grab a friend and take a ride
Together upon the open road (come on, Maxie, ah-yuck)

All in all, I'd rather have detention
All in all, I'd rather eat a toad (yuck)
And the old man drives like such a klutz
That I'm about to hurl my guts
Directly upon the open road

There's nothin' can upset me
'Cause now we're on our way
Our trusty map will guide us straight and true
Roxanne, please don't forget me
I will return someday
Though I may be in traction when I do

Me and Max relaxin' like the old days (this is worse)
(Than dragon breath and acne) in a buddy-buddy
Kind of mode (I'm so mad)
(I think I may explode) when I see that highway, I could cry
Ya know, that's funny, so could I
Just bein' out on the open road

Howdy, boys, is this the way to Nashville?
Watch it, Mac, or you'll be gettin' towed!
I'm in no hurry to arrive
'Cause I'll be turnin' 65
The next time I seize the open road

Just a week of rest and relaxation (yeah)
And the odd romantic episode (very odd)
Ha ha, and it's Californ-I-A or bust
Look out, you dirtbags, eat my dust
From now on, I own the open road

It's me and little Maxie
My pipsqueak pioneer
They're partners forever westward ho, yee-haw
Could someone call a taxi
And get me outta here
To Beverly Hills 90210

Oh, every day, another new adventure
Every mile, another new zip code
And the cares we had are gone for good
And I'd go with them if I could
I've got no strings on me
I'm feelin' fancy-free
How wonderful to be
On the open road