The Buffoon And The Valedictorian

And now the buffoons' date at the drive-
In with the school's valedictorian
I really appreciate your asking me out. Most people
Are intimidated by my high academic achievement
This movie sucks shit!
Well, Ebert gave it thumbs up, but Siskel thought it was too
Preachy. Anyway, I enjoyed the director's last film immensely
Kathleen Turner has big fucking tits!
Yes, well, she recently had a child. I think her
Maternal biology may play a role in that. She
Looks fabulous for a woman her age, doesn't she?
I put a firecracker in a bullfrog's
Mouth and blew his fucking head off!
Well, in psychology we learn that it's not uncommon for male
Adolescents to commit savage acts on
Animals as part of their maturing process
That girl in the fucking car in front of us. She gives everybody head!
Well, I guess she's starved for attention and she
Feels promiscuity is the only way to obtain it
These popcorn's fucking terrible. It
Tastes like someone jizzed all over it!
Well, the thought of semen on this popcorn is certainly disturbing
Perhaps the staff in the refreshment stand was overcome by
The monotony of their work and decided to play a childish prank
I looked at my asshole in the mirror today. It blew my fucking mind!
It's ironic that parts of one's own body can seem odd and
Unusual because you don't see them on a day-to-day basis
My father's shit stinks up the bathroom all fucking day!
It's puzzling why one person's fecal odor can be more
Overpowering than another's. I wonder whether it is a function
Of the food digested or that person's internal metabolism
I'm gonna go get head from that fucking girl!
While I'm sorry to see the date come to such an
Abrupt conclusion, I do appreciate the time you've
Spent with me and look forward to a future rendezvous
I like to piss in that guy's fucking gas tank!
Bye-bye, have fun