Scared Of Myself

When I was 13, I started gaining weight
So I started counting calories sometimes
When I was 16, someone told me I was stupid
So I bit my tongue, let others speak their minds

Now I hear voices late at night, honestly I'm terrified
That I'm never gonna be the same
Some people are scared of heights, and monsters coming out at night
But I'm afraid of something I can't change

I'm scared of myself, if you ask me truth, I'm not doing well
I'm afraid for my life, I'm at war with my mind, and nobody can help
My thoughts go, ("You're not good enough, life's not fair")
("If you died no one would care") oh, I lost control
I'm scared of myself, if you ask me truth, I'm not doing well
I'm not doing well

When I was 19, someone stole my innocence
And the first thing I did is blame myself
Now in my 20s, and I still feel like a kid
Tryna work through all this shit, but God it's heavy

Now I hear voices late at night, honestly I'm terrified
That I'm never gonna be the same
Some people are scared of heights, and monsters coming out at night
But I'm afraid of something I can't change

I'm scared of myself, if you ask me truth, I'm not doing well
I'm afraid for my life, I'm at war with my mind, and nobody can help
My thoughts go, ("You're not good enough, life's not fair")
("If you died no one would care") oh, I lost control
I'm scared of myself, if you ask me truth, I'm not doing well
I'm not doing well