Where Did We Go Wrong

She's perky
She's bubbly!
She's optimistic
Where did we go wrong?
We taught her to hunt
We taught her to aim

We gave her a bow
We gave her no shame
We gave what we had
Made sure she was bad
Did all that we could to keep her sad
We told her to stay away from all that jazz

We gave her that week long trip to Alcatraz
We promised she'd be equipped
And filled her crypt with woe
What did we know?
We took her to field rows in the morning mist
We took her to slaughterhouses

Shindler's list
We taught her to scowl and sneer and domineer
And cure!
So, what did we do? Where did we go wrong?
Are we good parents?
Where did we go wrong?
Are we cliché?

Somewhere in between, guilt and guillotine
We forgot to notice that our daughter lost her way!
Where did we go wrong?
And can we fix this?
Maybe it's a passing phase
But if she's going wrong, then what will change her ways?

That's it! We cancel the dinner, bolt the doors!
We'll circle the wagons
And give these goodylicious Beinekes the boot!
We must intervene
We shouldn't delay
She's barely 18

So what do we say?
We know the occult!
That's certainly true
We're here to consult
Morticia, with you!
So why all the fuss?

My darling, discuss!
She needs only us!
It's us, only us!
We've always been there for her, to swear for her
Discourage them to care for her
Do well for her, excel for her, make all the living hell for her!

So "where did we go wrong" is not the question!
Resolute and strong is our next move
We'll tell her today
Do what we say
Send all the Beinekes back to the fray!
Turn them away at first sight
And that's where we'll go right!
No dinner tonight