Understanding

Grey city, 2016 night bus home, N19
Chain link, rain and concrete
Lashing out and falling
Picking quarters up off the hardwood
Skytrain, Joyce-Collingwood
Losing floating knowing
Stopping pain from showing

Hell to me in the moment scream internally
Soul exit's me

Through all the lines i write

In basements far away if I can purge
This broken hurt in haunted words
Will it surround me?

And like the city nights just drift away

I couldn't figure it out
I couldn't fix it by myself
I couldn't do it alone

I couldn't figure it out
I couldn't fix it by myself
Everyone else seems so strong and

I tried to offer up my pain to be understood
But I don't think it's my
Pain that can be understood
Or needs understanding

Thеre's not a lot of pain in
The world that makes any sеnse
I wonder where all this pain comes from
And this evil is and where it lives?

Future wide open but defined as broken
Every achievement
Hoping wishing aching never knowing
The pain I write about
So I don't fucking die
Interpreted as everything
I've got to offer in this life fuck No!

Time is a circle forever hurtful
No hesitation nostalgia or ideation

I couldn't figure it out
I couldn't do it alone
I couldn't fix it by myself
Everyone else seemed so strong

I tried to offer up my pain to be understood
But I don't think it's my
Pain that can be understood
Or needs understanding

There's not a lot of pain in
The world that makes any sense

Maybe people need to be understood instead

I tried to understand why
It happened like that
But it just made my soul break down

Break down and

I didn't want things to go like that
For a while I was confused
But now I think I understand