Reminiscence

Doesn't make a difference
I fucked it up, you'd fix it
You left, thought you would miss this
No lie

Were you just a figment of imagination?
I can't tell if this is legit (if this is legit)
Ruminate on whether there was indication
Tell myself I'll never forget (forget, forget)

I was going left, you were cutting right
Play pretend and shut down feigning peace of mind
And now we're tryna fill the silence
I never guessed, but I coulda, right?
What's to worry 'bout now?
Got shit redefined
When they took your life away

No, I don't wanna waste more time
At 22 losing you made my state of mind
Something I'd hide inside
Embody strength for the ones who've cried

So I don't think I ever wanna waste more time
'Cause now I'm through tryna prove I'm not fake sometimes
Guess I outgrew needing to feel your eyes
Under my guise of truth conveyed

Now I know
To reminisce reveals the signs
I couldn't see 'em
Go, go on reveal 'em, come on
Oh God, it hurts to feel sometimes
Eyes on the ceiling

Conflict with no meaning at all
Just couldn't read between your lines
I couldn't read it
Fuck, it's so misleading, appalled
Why'd I believe your "I'll be fine's"?
I don't believe it
No, I don't believe in the fall

Got mites in my skin can't fight from within
Despise who I've been
Can't lie just to win
Your life was akin to light, lacking sin
Took flight from the wind
Held tight, lost my grip
Cut ties from the script
Lost sight, start to slip
Guard eyes with a sip

Keep tryna forget
Can't cry, hold it in
Get high and eclipse
Goodbyes for a bit
Defy, don't admit
Ask why, throw a fit (I fall to my knees)
Deny, take a hit (my heart rate's jumping)
Reply to assist (300 degrees)

July came and went (the blood starts pumping)
No time to exist (wait what do you mean?)
I'm fine, I insist (this can't be where it ends)
Combine what I missed
Write rhymes in the midst (no I just can't comprehend)

Design don't resist (they're looking at me)
I whine, pessimist (get up, sit up)
No spine, just a cyst
My mind starts to twist
Inclined to assist
Inside, fucking pissed
I tighten my fist
Got eyes full of mist

To reminisce reveals (the signs)
Oh God, it hurts to feel sometimes
Just couldn't read between your lines
Why'd I believe your "I'll be fine's"? (I don't believe it)
(No, I don't believe in the fall)

Doesn't make a difference (to reminisce reveals the signs)
I fucked it up, you'd fix it
You left, thought you would miss this (oh God it hurts to feel sometimes)