True Story

I got these memories of when I was only 8,
bedroom door was locked, my mom was being beat
and screaming rape,
Kenny open the door!
I want to but I can't,
in her boyfriends trailer,
in the living room, his roommate doing crank,
what the fuck are you doing!
my mamas crying for help,
thats when I learned what a coward was,
something i never felt,
I dialed 911, and i left the phone by itself
i wish that i had i gun,
cause i woulda sent him to hell,
send everybody to hell,
then i remember the cops came and took him away,
tears in my mamas face,
Lord knows how bad they must taste,
and every time I think about it up to this day,
that helpless little kid i was, it throws me into a rage,

Spoke to my pops when I was 5,
on the phone,
i aint know him as dad so i called him Clyde,
guess me calling him by his name, it musta hurt his pride,
all i heard was ""click"" and thats the last I heard from him in life,
but that aint crazy,
14, was on probation,
having suicidal thoughts, and this voice, it came from Satan,
had a rope tied around a branch my puppy used to play with,
and one day I wrapped that rope around my neck n starts hanging
what the fuck was I thinkin,
mama seen me through the window
 she ran outside and saved me  
can't believe i really almost made her bury her baby
blame it on rap music
yea too much Slim Shady
swear to God I used to go to church and feel like they hate me,

But none of that was awful as the night I lost Austin,
and its been so fuckin long,
i never put this in a song like this , no
i never thought id break it down like this, no
so, me and him were homies like, everyday homies like,
wake up every morning, prolly calling , comin over, like,
damn we need some come up like, 
damn we need some money like,
hustle hustle hustle, things were finally going right, until the night,
until the night i seen my dawg die,

yea, about a foot away from me,
brains blowed all over the wall man you couldn't imagine this shit, 
but listen, 
look, couple of jitts couple of guns right,
just fuckin around fuckin with one right,
12 gauge, we aint know it was loaded,
suddenly it went off and the barrel exploded,
i started screaming your name,
but you're dead and i know it,
the slug it entered your brain,
and then the blood just kept pouring,
to me this is a memory, to them its just horror,
I ran outside, I called the police, and I just stood on the porch,
i heard the sirens, seen the lights but i was numb,
i didn't speak when they ran up pulling they guns,
i just dropped to my knees and started crying 
said my best friend just died and then I pointed inside
then of course when they questioned me i lied,
but at the end i still got charged with manslaughter, homicide,
I wish that I could tell you this is fiction, but its not,
since I been home from prison,
music's the only thing i got,

fuck ,

slaughter me or slander me, I don't give a fuck,
man that shit don't hurt me at all, naw,
like y'all have no idea what the fuck my life consisted of
and i don't know what the fuck yours did either, like
for real like, you can't look at someone and assume nothing,
you heard me like, people go through shit,
people go through shit you never did
in all walks of life, all around the world
just cause they smiling,
that don't mean that they aint hidin pain,
man everybody's hiding pain,
like,
man everybody has shit they don't want people to know,
real talk,
man I just aint afraid to let you know who I am , 
share who I am with you, cause ,
its authentic,
its too real to be fake, you feel me like,
man fuck it,
man if I could say one thing it'd be,
dont let your past determine your future