Better Off

I know nothing lasts forever
My smile is a phase
If one thing goes wrong
I'm spiraling for days
Life used to be amazing
Now it's just a maze
It's like everybody left
And I went right into a rage
It was me and AK
Told em I'll keep giving bars
Til we see a payday
Cuz all I had was one wish
And it ain't meeting Ray J
Since watching 106 & park
With Free and AJ
Didn't really think a little weed
Would be the gateway
Til I smoked my first bowl of spice
Working overnight
Trynna get a different
Dose of life
Know I shoulda crapped out
From all the days I rolled the dice
Way before I blacked out
On stage at a open mic
And chose to write
These songs about shortcomings
Dealt with a few demons
Now more coming
Staying up late
Sleeping til four something
Momma say I'm trying to avoid something
But I don't even know what
Made a bunch of bread
And ended up with a donut
Was never really shown much
Love or respect
That's why I never gave no trust
To anyone except the one
Who make my whole soul blush
Member being broke
She was taking care of both us
I was at my lowest
And she never made no fuss
Girl I see you as the goat
Cuz you the most clutch
Told them niggas
It's gon be a gold rush
But they ain't wanna listen still
Ain't sniff a pill
Since my nigga died from fentanyl
I'm just trynna sit and chill
I just want mills
And a villa in the hidden hills
And I ain't got it yet
But I know I can get it still
And I ain't never did drill
Might've hit a couple licks
Lost me a couple times
Luckily recovered it
Swear I been through the fire
Something like an oven mit
Thinking bout the past
Is more taxing than the government
We was supposed to be close friends
Riding til the road ends
Least that's what I was hoping
I ain't saying that my hearts
All broken
I just wish we coulda spoken
Cause why I gotta find out
From all these other other sources
You been living life like
I am not important
I ain't gon sit around
Crying trynna force it
I was better off before this
It's been a minute
I still wonder how you been queen
I know my commitment
Is some shit you should've been seen
I'm hoping you don't take offense
To how I vent things
Shit I don't care if this one even get streams
These writtens in my genes like inseams
Growing up pops tried
Getting on the big screen
I hit 100 million views in 2016
Sometimes I think I'm living his dream
But I can't even dream
When I try to sleep
Paralysis got me paralyzed
Don't know how to speak
Lost so much love
Now my heart is playing and seek
Try to look above
But it's like God ain't had no time for me
For something like a year straight
I know my lack of confidence
Was all fear based
Afraid of the chance
I may not
Get a fair shake
But a chance is what it takes
To reach a rare place
I told em I was very great
But they ain't wanna listen still
Ain't sniff a pill
Since my nigga died from fentanyl
I'm just trynna sit n chill
Just want mills
And a villa in the hidden hills
And I ain't got it yet
But I know I can get it still
I ain't never did drill
Might've hit a couple licks
Lost me a couple times
Luckily recovered it
Swear I been through the fire
Something like an oven mit
Thinking bout the past is more taxing
Than the government
We was supposed to be close friends
Riding til the road ends
Least that's what I was hoping
I ain't saying that my hearts
All broken
I just wish we coulda spoken
Cause why I gotta find out
From all these other other sources
You been living life like
I am not important
I ain't gon sit around
Crying trynna force it
I was better off before this