Trenches

Travel banned throughout the land
Ain't get a chance to visit
It's crazy how much things can change
In just a span of minutes
My family dealing with some things
But shit what family isn't
Couldn't pay his rent
The pandemic took his family business
Now you can quit & tell your kids
That Santa cancelled Christmas
Or you can grind cuz somebody's
Gotta man the trenches
& As a man it's mandatory that I grant the wishes
Of everyone depending on me
A bandage to some damaged bitches
The type of girl that break your heart
& Then demand forgiveness
Or always claim she understands
But then she stands against it
& I unframed all of those photos
I had scanned & printed but my heart
still hangs on to emotions that my camera didn't
Damn I miss it
Thought we'd grow together but expanded different
Finally found myself
& I don't care cuz my companion missing
Can't no one get close to me
My siblings & my parents distant
Panic then you vanish
& I can't the advantage in it
Eventually I'll be the man
To meet your standard limits
Here to help you manage
When you stranded
& Your lamp is dimmest
All my life I ain't held nothing in my hand as vivid
As that feeling we would hold inside
Back when a chance existed
Damn
I guess it's over for real
& I'm still surprised that you left
Although you told me you will
Cuz I kept on holding inside
The shit you chose to reveal
& I think what hurts me the most
Is that I know how you feel

I'll always be your soldier momma
Remember what I told you momma
You can put your struggles on my shoulders now
I'm older momma
Both of us been waiting
On the day that I get sober momma
But I been rolling doja momma
Trynna keep composure momma
Bank account low
Cuz ain't no shows or no promoters momma
Only stayed afloat
Because you know I got that motor momma
Day that I stopped growing
Gave up working on my floater momma
Studio my focus
Ain't gon stop until I'm goated momma
You know where I hold you momma
Middle of my heart forever
Trynna find my wife is hard
Cuz next to you she hardly measure
Think I got my confidence
From times you called me smart & clever
Know it ain't my pops
He gets no props
That nigga call me never
Used to never think about the past
But now it's partly pleasure
Flashing back before we fell apart
& It was all together
Darkness in my heart
My chest had started with a sparkled treasure
Lost it all in parts
To every broad I gave a partial effort
Now I'm on own
When I'm alone I'm prone to fall from pressure
Never been too good at anything
That might involve forever
Praying I evolve to
Not revolve around this awful weather
I'll be better
Ahh whatever