Fade

The emptiness I harbored in the questions that I asked
Was almost palpable, it tasted like the soft skin on your back
And when I said, "Where did you go?"
What I meant was
Since you left, I haven't had the chance to hate you
Nearly half as much as I've hated myself

We were in love, at least that's what I came to call it
I was never really quite sure if it was
Because in growing up the hardest lesson learned
Is just because you love someone
It doesn't mean they love you in return

I always thought you'd fade when I buried you and me
But on our grave a bed of flowers bloomed
And now each day you grow more beautiful as I'm left to decay
I guess it's true that some things never change

And it's been quite a long time now, but I'm still so weak
I found a bliss in my ignorance until ignorance found hell in me
When I said, "Where did you go?"
What I meant was
Since you left, I haven't had the chance to hate you
Half as much as I loved you then

It's been a long time now
But I still spend my nights laying awake
The kind of tired that sleep wouldn't shake
The kind of empty that fills the entire space in my chest cavity
Where I tried to keep you safe, but you escaped

And it's been quite a long time now, but I'm still so weak
I found a bliss in my ignorance until ignorance found hell in me
When I said, "Where did you go?"
What I meant was
Since you left, I haven't had the chance to hate you
Half as much as I loved you then