Blueprint

When the fog burned off, the road looked different
The air was thick and the landmarks shifted
I retraced my steps. Every end was dead
While the crowd marched on, I filled with dread

I was so damn good at looking good on paper
A golden child, the perfect faker
Smiled through the late nights, the hustle, the hope
Then one night in a cold sweat, I finally woke

The tassels, the handshakes, the hollow acclaim
I bartered my fire for a title and praise
I truly believed I was shaping my fate
Turns out my blueprints were perfectly traced
The dream that built me broke me too
What on earth is a good girl to do?

When the clarity came, I was speaking in tongues
Blank stares met my panic when I said we should run
Truth hit like a fever I felt in my bones
Mourning dead weight I once called home
I reached for hands that stayed at their sides
So I swallowed my guilt and left them behind

I was so damn mad they wouldn't see
I carved out my truth, so they cut down the tree
It seems the devout can't bear to be saved
I guess they prefer the comfort of being enslaved

The paychecks, the praise, the glittering bait
I had it all and still never felt safe
My power first came from the rage and the spite
But running from dark turned to skipping toward light

There's an ache in waking up
My seething doesn't sleep
The shame that I mistook for love
The wolves all cloaked in fleece
Worked too hard, but not enough
The mantras I believed:
"Shrink to fit in, call it growth"
And "You can never leave"

The blueprint, the script, my ego, my pride
Should I ask my boss to take this outside?
But I pause mid-fight in a moment of truth:
If they could see the con, they would leave too
I drop my fists, eyes clear, and I breathe
They're still in the trap, but I'm finally free

My legacy fear paces like a dog
She's lost the scent, starved for applause
Out of the cage, but into the woods...
What should a girl be,
Other than good?