Permanently Injured By Magic

Permanently injured by magic
We'll fight for you
Permanently injured by magic
Compensation is due

Call us now, we'll milk the cow
Don't delay your big pay day

I survived a magic assault
But my head was left twisted, they held em at fault
Well we won the case, and they untwisted my face
And the settlement was good, yeah real good, tell em, ace

I was stranded for three days straight
In a snow globe, on my own bookshelf, by my own roommate
Now I'm healthy, handsome and rich
That'll teach me to sublet to a witch

I was born ugly and small
Then they cursed with a dog face, on top of it all
These lawyers are great, they turned my pain into a payday
Now I've got a girlfriend, a pony and a screenplay

Give us a call, we're open, pass us the ball
We'll score for you, big money, whoop de doo

Call us now, we'll milk the cow
Don't delay your big pay day