Traumatized

My house is upside down
I cannot leave my world, keep to myself
I learned that it's not safe to speak my words
My final resting place is these four walls

She said
Baby hold me while I'm traumatized
I put up walls, put 'em all around
Fuck me over, I won't let it slide
I put in work, put in overtime

I'm tangled in something I don't wanna be in
The shadows are following close
I don't wanna look
Because soon as notice them
I know that somebody's pulling the ropes
I never acknowledge them, making them real
They inhabit my body, and make me the host
I wanna pretend that my trauma is gone
And that I've been healed
But that's when I feel it the most

She said
Baby hold me while I'm traumatized
I put up walls, put 'em all around
Fuck me over, I won't let it slide
I put in work, put in overtime
I promise I'm not broken
I can't react when I feel frozen
I'm going under every night
There's more to life
I'm traumatized

My house is upside down
I cannot leave my world, keep to myself
I learned that it's not safe to speak my words
My final resting place is these four walls

She said
Cursed with awareness
Still I'm unaware that my body's failing
With both my feet tied to the ceiling
This trauma's more than just a feeling

No fuck this, I'm gonna break down
I don't wanna be followed by rainclouds
With this negative feeling, I'm weighed down
With a devil and angel inside of my head
Playing tag back and forth like a playground
Turned my back on myself and abandoned my roots
Laid bricks of a cell
Made a prison and said it's to better myself
But that's an excuse

She said
Baby hold me while I'm traumatized
I put up walls, put 'em all around
Fuck me over, I won't let it slide
I put in work, put in overtime
I promise I'm not broken
I can't react when I feel frozen
(Now I'm saying goodbye because I'm going under)
I'm going under every night
There's more to life
I'm traumatized