Suicide Note

I'm sorry momma this last time you hear from me
I am not this happy person I appear to be
This the only way
I'll be free from the hurt and all of the curses I'm burning and hurting but nobody care
All of my burdens they're holding me down
Closing the curtains, I'm certain that I'll be destined to drown (destined to drown)
I'ma kill myself

Sick and tired of always taking all these motherfucking pills so ion feel myself
Tell me why the fuck these people took advantage of me
Ain't nobody know the pressure and the baggage on me
I remember tears shed, blood-red wait
By the time you reading this, I'm dead wait

All my life, I'm feeling like I'm dead weight friends fake
I been suicidal ever since I was eight
That's the reason I be talking to the devil
And he told me when I die that he gon' meet me at the front gate
Happiness is just a fantasy that I been tryna chase
But I been raped and all the scars on my body remain

Not to mention the fact that I never had nobody by my side
So please don't question me about my fucking pain
Nothing that I'm writing even matters anymore
Momma, all the shit I did won't happen anymore
In a couple minutes I'll be dead
Fuck a gun up to my head I wanna use a knife so I could see the red

I'll suicide, yeah
Momma told me I could be whatever that I wanna be but I'ma suicide, yeah
The devil told me that he miserable he need some company, so I'ma suicide, yeah
Ain't nobody understand the shit that I been going through, so I'ma suicide, yeah
Don't judge me for the things I did