Suffering

Poor maudlin child, so wise beyond my years, sigh here
Such tragedy befell me so early, Adam weeps
There's no responsibility when your life sucks this bad
But here's a secret that I keep, please don't tell anybody

I get off on suffering, it's my favorite thing
If I'm without it I can't figure out the point of anything
I get fucked up, play the victim
Fuck myself to do it quicker
Oh, yeah, I get off on suffering, it's my favorite thing

My better days only terrify me
What do they mean?
One day I might have nothing left to write
Just golden light
But I know it's up to me, I can make anything
Even clear and perfect glass in my hands turns to sand

I get off on suffering, it's my favorite thing
If I'm without it I can't figure out the point of anything
I get fucked up, play the victim
Fuck myself to do it quicker
Oh, yeah, I get off on suffering, it's my favorite thing

Self-awareness on vacation
Over-explaining inclinations to self-sabotage
Really it's just my fault
I've put in all the work and what I've learned is I love to hurt
I search for the pain, it feels so good to never change

I get off on suffering, it's my favorite thing
If I'm without it I can't figure out the point of anything
I get fucked up, play the victim
Fuck myself to do it quicker
Oh yeah, I get off on suffering, it's my favorite thing