The Crab-Grass Baby

Stroke me pompadour, pompadour, pompadour, pompadour
Stroke me pompadour, father
Stroke it nicely while I tell you about the
Problems I am having with my car and my girlfriend
Ooo-wo-woo, the white man's burden!

Her and her girlfriend used to go out and booze it up and tear up the
Upholstery, rip the seats completely out, and so I got a fifty-six olds
About the time I got it running decently, she got in it and wrecked the
Trans... Tore it completely up, so I had to get another Oldsmobile
Either that or go to Tijuana or go to brown Moses way down in Egypt-Land
It's so hard on a child when his car is fucked up
Buy me a Volvo, father

Isn't this terrific, artificial Rhonda!
One-Adam-Twelve see the enormous white pompadour! Ha-ha-ha-ho!
That's a good one! Hoo-hoo-hoo
He's so young, and yet, so wise
I pooped my pants, pooped my pants, pooped my pants
I went doody, father, sob-sob-sob-sob-sob
His vocabulary is astonishing!
So what if you suck a little cock every once in a while?
Oh I'm so lucky to have a son like this

Barf me out gag me with a Volvo!
I can't wait to show him to all the fellas down at the mine-shaft
Take me to the movies, buy me a balloon, stroke me pompadour!
Look! Look! Look at the pecker on him, wouldja! Goodjy-goodjy-goodjy-goo!
Hoo hoo hoo!
This boy have a 'provlem', however, how 'bout a nice round of applause
For the three Wise Mammies, comin' at ya outta chute number five!