Johnny Tarr

Lemme tell you a little story about a man named Johnny Tarr
He was a hard drinkin' son of a preacher, always at the bar
Lager from the tap or shots of Paddy from the shelf
He could open his throttle and throw back a bottle as quick as the devil himself! Johnny Tarr

And the word got around that Johnny Tarr was no pretender
From Claire to here, they'd lock up the beer when Johnny went on a bender
Down at Dickey Mack's, the Risin' Sun, or at the Swan
He was drinkin' by seven, by ten to eleven, well, all the booze would be gone, Johnny Tarr

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi
I heard it from the man who knows a fella who says it's true

It was nine in the mornin', on a cold and rainy night
Johnny walked into the Castle Bar, lookin' to get tight
He had money in his pocket, he had whiskey in his eye
He said, "Get up off your asses and set up your glasses, I'm drinkin' this place dry"

Now all the serious boozers, they were soon broken-hearted
When Johnny finished off six, and he was only gettin' started
Guzzlin' down the pints, knockin' 'em back like candy
He was lookin' alright to be drinkin' all night, then Nora brought out the brandy, Johnny Tarr

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it
But I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true
Here we go, Sheila

Johnny drank the whole damn bottle, had another pint or two
When it made no impression, he started a session with Murphy's Millennium Brew
He was waitin' for his pint when his face turned green
Jesus, Johnny fell down after only fifteen

You could have heard a pin drop, then the crowd let out a roar
It took five Cork women to lift Johnny off the floor
The doctor looked him over, said you'd better call the hearse
But it's not what you're thinkin'
It wasn't the drinkin', this man died of thirst, Johnny Tarr

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it
I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, I swear I have an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true

And even if you saw it yourself, you wouldn't believe it
I wouldn't trust a person like me, if I were you
Sure I wasn't there, but I swear I has an alibi
I heard it from a man who knows a fella who says it's true