When The Waterworks Caught Fire

Home Guards guard our waterworks
Protection they require
But we got in hot water
When the waterworks caught fire
Our Corporal started to undress
He looked like Adam, more or less
And he wore a sprig of watercress
When the waterworks caught fire

Girl firefighters, Flo and Toots
Undressed without swimming suits
It's a good job they wore rubber boots
When the waterworks caught fire

Fire Guards and Home Guards
They answered the call
Red Guards and White Guards
And Blackguards and all
Our Raid Warden took a jump
He might have drowned, the silly chump
But his wife grabbed hold of his stirrup pump
When the waterworks caught fire

Several ducks from Farmer Clegg's
Staggered out on shaky legs
And started laying hard boiled eggs
When the waterworks caught fire

Fanlike Fanny, what a scream
She dived head first into the stream
You couldn't see her arms for steam
When the waterworks caught fire

Fire Guards and Home Guards
They answered the call
Red Guards and White Guards
And Blackguards and all

Mrs Brown across the way
Who has a cold bath every day
Was scalded on her --- she won't say
When the waterworks caught fire

Stripping off their coats and slacks
Ladies scrubbed each other's backs
The Home Guard paid amusment tax
When the waterworks caught fire

Young firefighter Miss MacDuff
Threw her job up in a huff
She said she'd spotted quite enough
When the waterworks caught fire

Fire Guards and Home Guards
They answered the call
Red Guards and White Guards
And Blackguards and all

One girl showed a figure fine
Then she hit a floating mine
Just below the waterline
When the waterworks caught fire