On The Town: Act Ii: I Understand

When I was five my brother stole my lollipop
My lollipop stole he
But I didn't mutter "Damn your hide!"
He needed candy more than I'd
So instead of biting off his hand
I just said "Goo
I understand."
When I was ten my mother trounced me with a mop
With a mop, trounced said she me
But I didn't mutter "Damn your eyes!"
I knew she needed exercise
So instead of joining a gypsy band
I just said "Mom
I understand."
At thirty a man in a car ruthlessly ran me down
He ruthlessly downran me
But I didn't mutter "Damn your spleen!"
For a man's a man, but a car's a machine
So instead of stripping him of his land
I just said "Jack
I understand."
Now I'm forty-five and I've met Claire, we're engaged to wed
Engaged to wed are we
But tonight I tell you, "Damn you, Claire!
You played me evil, and that's not fair"
So instead of remaining calm and bland
I hereby do not understand!