Chasing Shadows

Another sunrise I forget to feel it
Mirrors fogged with every vow I've broken
The weight of grace I keep misusing
Still wearing halos made of smoke and wire
I mouth the words but never pray them
I know the path but never take it
I watch myself from somewhere high
Split between the wrong and right
I'm tired of the silence when I scream your name
Still chasing shadows I swore I'd erase
I'm both the fire and the freeze inside
Two faces praying under one disguise
If you're still listening don't turn away
God, I need a reason to believe today
I baptize my guilt in caffeine and static
Kept my cross buried under old habits
My soul's been dry for thirty weeks
But I keep drinking from a screen that preaches sleep
The sermons never reach the marrow
I fake revival just to borrow
A second where I feel again
Then bleed it out with trembling hands
I'm tired of the silence when I scream your name
Still chasing shadows I swore I'd erase
I'm both the fire and the freeze inside
Two faces praying under one disguise
If you're still listening don't turn away
God, I need a reason to believe today
I tore the veil and stitched it shut
I lied to you in songs I sung
I held your light and let it dim
Forgive me
I don't know where I end or begin
Still tired of the silence when I scream your name
Still breaking promises I never meant to make
I'm the prodigal split down a faulted line
Both Saint and ghost at the same time
If you still love me, don't walk away
God, I need a reason to stay