Pseudotale / In Absentia

(em tel t'now uoy tub ehtaerb ot deen I
leef em ekam uoy woh fo deracs osla m'I tub uoy evol I
gnitartsurf dna lufituaeb er'uoY
em ni skooh rouy tog ev'uoY)

Your baleful macédoine of rejects
You know that it's your only defense
Throw your children into the ocean
In hopes that you can feel emotion
You're avant-garde, but I can't help you
It's not your fault that they hate you, too
And I'm just somebody who noticed
You don't look at all the things you've done
But I see everything that you do
Even though I don't fucking want to

I know it's in there somewhere
I know that there's nothing there
I know that I shouldn't care
I know I'm gasping for air

Do it
Just kill me
I don't deserve thee
I really have no right
To think of you all night
Just make it clean
Just make me art
In just a day
This will all restart

I'm just a fucked up mess
I won't give you any less
Enough to turn us red
More than enough to turn you dead
I don't want empathy
I don't know why you're helping me
Wait a minute, you will see
The screams are a cacophony

Ode to nothing
Do it, please, just
Answer something
Xanthomonas
Even you know
Light can't be seen
All of this is
Grating to me
Never felt so
Insane like this
All of us are
All of you are
Dead

Will you still be drawn to it?
Whatever it may be?
Whatever the answer is, it doesn't matter to me
All I need to be happy is just to finally see
My desire almost feels like it's just a fucking ghost
A sadistic parasite almost always needs a host
But the answer is not there when you need it to be most
Yes, no, but please leave out the maybe so
I don't think that you're listening, though
It may be better to slit my throat
Than to have you hear this song I wrote
I'll leave it on a negative note
Because I simply can never hope
For things to exist I'll wanna know
If I hadn't seen, would I want to die?
Who is this song for? I won't specify

Today, let's be in love
Tomorrow, let's be friends again
Nothing will be this way
Now I am spiraling again
Yesterday, we killed ourselves
I'm always somebody else
Coming from somewhere else
Down the hall

I can't look outside
Because the houses
Look like something you'd reside in
I can't talk to them
Because what I'd say
Sounds like something you would mention
I can't go outside
Because I'm starting
To act like you, and I don't wanna die
I can't look in the mirror
Because I'm staring
At what I'd see if you were human

You could have a good time (You could have a good time)
I know you don't feel it (I know you don't feel it)
But I feel it for you (But I feel it for you)
I'm never gonna see again (I'm never gonna see again)
If you looked from outside (If you looked from outside)
What do you think you'd find? (What do you think you'd find?)
I see you in the sky (I see you in the sky)
I'm never gonna speak again (I'm never gonna speak again)
I wish I could help you (I wish I could help you)
But I just don't want to (But I just don't want to)
Cause then I would see you (Cause then I would see you)
I'm never gonna breathe again (I'm never gonna breathe again)
I'll never be happy (I'll never be happy)
I know you can't hear me (I know you can't hear me)
Look what you've done to me (Look what you've done to me)
I'm never gonna think again (I'm never gon-)

I cannot sleep
I cannot see
Just leave me be
Please leave me be
I cannot breathe
I cannot
Just leave me be
Please leave me be
You won't help me
You don't have to
Please stop shaking
I don't want to
You won't help me
You don't have to
Please stop shaking
I don't want you
In my life anymore
But I want you
Don't go to sleep
Don't go to sleep

I'll be okay soon, right?
I have been up all night
I won't put up a fight
If you take my sight

My chest is tied up
I cannot stop myself
From seeing you
When I look up in the sky
Under a spell
I don't hate you

I don't hate you

I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't hate, I don't hate
I don't

(em tel t'now uoy tub ehtaerb-)