Swerve

Another Sunday night rolls around again, Hobonichi planning out the week
I feel just like I'm so bored out of my mind that half the time it's hard to even speak
I don't know what's next on the agenda  Feel like all my prayers get returned to sender
I just want to make the best of my time that I have here, in the dead of winter
Rains all day  don't want to go outside, I'm too sober for this all of the time
Permanently on another plane, reminded daily that I might just be completely fried
I just want to be content with what I have, and look around and say I'm satisfied
But it's like not a day passes without a new thing that I've convinced myself I have to buy
Really , at the root of it what is it?, dopamine hizzit just to pass the time
If this is all there really is to any of this, will I settle for it? Is it fine?
Noticing the ageing process of the body in my thirties, different from when I was twenty
Looking at my loose skin when I'm naked, stretching it out, like is this even mine?
Gray hairs popping out and disappear soon as they appear, so I stay aware
Sometimes the pain I feel isn't near as scary as the imminence of what I fear
Far beyond just the mere groans and creaks, elbows and knees, toes and feet
Something under the surface, I have yet still to muster up the courage to go beneath

Somethings I just don't know, Somethings I just don't know
Some times I just don't know, Some times I just don't know
Somethings I just don't know, Somethings I just don't know
Sometimes it's just how it goes like, well, you know  No, I don't
(2x)

I don't understand what this is  If this even worth it, or not
If it's even something I want  Square thought: is it a circle, or dot?
Brain dump 'til the rhyme done, hearken back to my days as a young lad
And all the aspirations that I had romanticising what it's like to die young
Who's gonna be the one to take me to all of my appointments
And wheel my frail body around the radiology department, when the time comes?
With my patience growing thinner as a patient, 'til they pull something out of me
That looks like something straight out of one of those medical atlases I used to use for inspiration
Besides, I don't want top get taken out by something as quick as a heart attack
The dissolution and disintegration of the human body, what a garbage bag
(Insert forced haughty laugh) Right before George Miles ended it all
And his soul left his body, promptly, I wonder what was the last thought he had
Anyways, just winding down now  coming to a close, going stale
Scrolling through my fashion sites, wish-listing things I want for when they go on sale
Got enough time for one more, as well  another little quick one, before I bail
If a word is the image of a word, then a mute thought struggles to exist to no avail

Somethings I just don't know, Somethings I just don't know
Some times I just don't know, Some times I just don't know
Somethings I just don't know, Somethings I just don't know
Sometimes it's just how it goes like, well, you know  No, I don't
(2x)