Piggy Pie (Old School)

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs
Who went out into the big world
To build their homes and seek their fortunes

The first little piggy, his house is made of wood
He lives in a chicken-turkey-piggy neighbourhood
He likes to fuck his sister and drink his moonshine
A typical redneck filthy fucking swine
I rode into town with my axe in my holster
Everybody knows about the wicked piggy roaster
The sheriff at the border, he tried to take me out
I drew my axe with the quickness and cut his Adam's apple out

Walked in the village and to the piggies place
He opened up his door and shot me in the face
It blew me off the porch, it blew my head in half
But I'm a juggalo, so it only made me laugh
Axe in hand, I rose like the dead
And swung with all my might, and made a thump noise in his head
Since we out west, I grabbed a shotgun
And blew his fucking tongue out the back of his cranium

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (no)
I might use an axe (yes)
The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks

The second little piggy, his house is made of brick
And this little piggy is a motherfucking dick
He lays down his rules and redo your rights
In that funny looking car with the little blinking lights
I drive a Volkswagen bug 17 deep
Packed full of juggalos lights out and we creep
To the piggy station and lay on the horn
First piggy out we blow his lungs out his uniform

Now they in pursuit like Starsky and Hutch
But there's only two of them, the rest are out to lunch
They call up Dunkin' Donuts to gather up the rest
25 piggies with their bulletproof vests
We lead them on a chase, they busting off rounds
But now they all fucked 'cause we at the Carney grounds
And they gettin' swallowed by their very own greed
Dark carnival and wicked clowns, 'cause we need

Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (no)
I might use an axe (yes)
The carnival's in town come and get your piggy sacks
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (no)
I might use an axe (yes)
The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks

The last little piggy, his house is made of gold
He lives in a mansion on his own private road
I started walking down it, the guard, he told me wait
I snapped his fuckin' neck in two and slammed his nuts in the gate
'Cause this little piggy must definitely die
I'ma lop his nugget off and toss it in the sky
And then I watched the moon take the form of the devil
And pull it out the sky, and beat it with a shovel
People in my city, they fighting for their meals
He sleeps on a mattress stuffed with 100 dollar bills

A richey is the devil, he never will admit it
So I'ma cut his hand off and slap his face with it
Opened up his door, he sleeping in his bed
I grabbed a brick of gold and smacked it upside his head
He begged for his life, I told him it's too late
And tied his neck in a knot and watch him suffocate, 'cause I need

Three little piggies to make a piggy pie
'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (no)
I might use an axe (yes)
The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
'Cause nothing like the swine when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (no)
I might use an axe (yes)
The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks

Three little piggies to make a piggy pie
There's nothin' like the sound when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun, I might use an axe
The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks
Three little piggies, to make a piggy pie
There's nothin' like the sound when you hear a piggy die
I might use a gun (no)
I might use an axe (yes)
The carnival's in town come and get your piggy snacks