Santa'S A Fat Bitch

Sleigh bells jingle-ling rin jing jingle-ling
Horses, horses, horses, horses
Sleigh bells jingle-ling ring jing jingle-ling

Santa Claus suck my balls
Drunk as hell ringing bells at the malls
Dancer, Prancer, Nixon, and Cupid
I'm a get stupid, ha ha ha, eh
I sat around all night under the chimney
Holdin' my sack like "gimme gimme"
I know that he's comin', he's comin' he must
Lookin' up nothin' but rust, dust
Turn on my TV the very next day I see you're gettin' paid
Leadin' the parade, I'm that sniper on the buildin'
Listen to my nine go click, Santa's a fat bitch

Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch)
Another year and I ain't get shit
(Another year I ain't get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Oh my undertaker)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

Yeah, I got somethin' to say about St. Nick
Fuck that ho he never brought Shaggs shit
No toys, candy canes, just a lump of coal
So I eat it, 'cause there ain't nothin' in the cupboards
So I'll be quick, quick and brief
Alls I need for Christmas is my two front teeth
I got mine kicked, kicked out my mouth
I need a few new ones, could you help me out
Should've known I'd get the short end of the stick
No kinda gift, I didn't get shit
Some say I was bad but that wasn't it
It's all because, Santa's a fat bitch

Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch)
Another year and I ain't get shit
(Another year I ain't get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Oh my undertaker)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

"Oh-ho-ho don't go that way Rudolph that's the ghetto
Ho-ho, those boys and girls don't deserve anything"
(Background:) Slaybells ringling jing jing jingle-ling
Horses, horses, horses, horses

Santa Claus, Santa Claus, where you been?
I see you got cookies and milk on your chin
I guess you had time to collect your ends
You always been down for your rich friends
But Rudolph, he don't bring your sleigh my way
Nothin' but coal and dirt for little J
I guess you couldn't fit down my chimney shaft
You need to lose some of that fat ass, uh
All the little rich boys, they gettin paid
Countin' the toys and duckets they made
Me? I got a little half little chunk of dog shit
I'm a kill that fat bitch

Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch)
Another year and I ain't get shit
(Another year I ain't get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Oh my undertaker)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

Twas another full Christmas and everything's whack
Not a creature stirrin' but a fuckin' rat
I ain't hearin' jingle bells I ain't hearin' nothin'
Ain't smellin' no turkey sure as hell ain't no stuffin'
All that I paid, wished and prayed
This fat motherfucker would swing my way
Drop off soldiers and rubber balls
But I woke up and found some crusty old drawers
Yep, yep, I knew it, The shaft again
And again, and again, and again
Every year I wake up to the same old shit, house
And there'd be no sign of the fat bitch

Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch)
Another year and I ain't get shit
(Another year I ain't get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Oh my undertaker)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth
Santa Claus is a fat bitch
(Santa Claus is a fat fat bitch)
Another year and I ain't get shit
(Another year I ain't get shit)
If I hear him land on my roof
(Oh my undertaker)
I'm a bust your ass in the too-hoo-hoo-hoo-hooth

"He's got a fuzzy white beard and a great big smile
A bright red hat you can see for a mile
A bag full of goodies and a great big grin
Here comes Santa Claus again"