Be More Chill, Pt. 1

You see, human social activity is governed by rules
And I have the processing capacity to understand those rules and pass them on to you

C - c - c - c - c - c'mon
Jeremy, can't you see?
Your operating system is outdated
C'mon
Boo, you know that you
Make everyone around you nauseated
Hey, I've arrived now
This is not a drill
Hey, I've arrived, wow!
Won't be long until
You wi - i - i - i - i - i - ill
Be more chill

Take your hands out of your pockets
Arch your back, puff out your chest
Add some swagger to your gate or
You'll look like a masturbator
Fix your posture, then the rest
Oh, but I am a masturbator
We'll fix that

All your nerdiness is ugly
I though I was more of a geek?
All your stammering's a chore
Wha- stammer? No, I-I don't stammer, I don't know, wha-
Your ticks and fidgets are persistent
And your charm is nonexistent
Fix your vibe, then fix some more
B - nu - B- ah - No - that's - Stop - no

Oh, everything about you is so terrible
Terrible?
Terrible
Awe
Oh, everything about you makes me want to die
Ugh...
So don't freak out and don't resist
And have no doubt if I assist
You wi - i - i - i - i - i - ill be more chill

Now, the first thing you need to change is your shirt
Buy that one!
It says Eminem
If you're so astute, what so you need me for?
Do people still listen to Eminem?
Irrelevant
My quantum structure enables me to envision possible futures
I envision a future in which you wear an Eminem shirt and things turn out well

Oh, everything about you is so terrible
(Everything about you sucks, everything about you sucks)
Oh, everything about you makes me want to die
(Everything about you sucks, everything about you sucks)
All the people in the mall think you are such a slob
(You're a slob, terrible, such a slob)
And boy, can I see why

Now you try picking a shirt... that's a girl shirt
Jerry?
Jerry-me!
Greet the beta
The be- oh. Hi, Brooke
You look sexy-
I can't to a hot girl, gaaa
Don't smile. Stare intensely like you don't care about your own death
LOOKING PRETTY SEXY, BROO-KE
Thanks. Is that a girl's shirt?
NO! Yes, yes. Repeat after me

I saw it in the window and I couldn't dismiss
(I saw it in the window and I couldn't dismiss)
I was dating a girl and she had a shirt just like this
(I was dating a girl and she had a shirt just like this, hehe)

It's still painful
(It's still painful)
So who was this mystery girl?
Oh, you've probably never heard of-
Madeline
(Madeline)
What?
She's fre-e-e-e-ench
She is not French. She just pretends to be for attention
Madeline broke up with you?
Yea- NO, I mean.
I broke up with her
(I broke up with her)
Cause she was cheating on me
(She was cheating on me-E-e-E-ee ah)

Hey Hamlet, be more chill

Brooke is gonna offer you a ride
It's imperative you accept