A Little Priest (Highlights Version)

Seems a downright shame
Shame?
Seems an awful waste
Such a nice, plump frame
What's his name has?
Had, has, nor it can't be traced
Business needs a lift
Debts to be erased
Think of it as thrift, as a gift
If you get my drift

Seems an awful waste
I mean, with the price of meat, what it is
When you get it, if you get it
Good, you got it

Take, for instance, Mrs. Mooney and her pie shop!
Business never better using only pussycats and toast
Now what pussy's good for maybe six or seven at the most?
And I'm sure they can't compare as far as taste

Mrs. Lovett, what a charming notion
Well, it does seem a white (eminently practical, and yet appropriate)
As always, Mrs. Lovett, how I've lived without you all these years
I'll never know how delectable
Think about it, lots of other gentlemen
Will soon be coming for a shave (also undetectable)
Won't they?
Think of all of the pies (how joyous, how rare)
For what's the sound of the world out there?

What, Mr. Todd? What, Mr. Todd? What is that sound?
Those crunching noises pervading the air
Yes, Mr. Toad, yes, Mr. Toad, yes, all around
It's man devouring man, my dear
And who are we to deny it in here?

What is that?
It's priest, have a little priest
Is it really good?
Sir, it's too good, at least
Then again, they don't commit the sin of the flesh
So it's pretty fresh

Awful lot of fat
Only where it sat
Haven't you got poet or something like that?
No, you see, the trouble with poet is
How do you know it's deceased?
Try the priest

Lawyer's rather nice
If it's for a price
Order something else, though, to follow
Since no one should swallow it twice

Anything that's lean?
Well, then, if you're British and loyal
You might enjoy Royal Marine
Anyway, it's clean
Though, of course, it tastes of wherever it's been

Is that squire on the fire?
Mercy, no, sir, look closer
You'll notice it's grocer
Looks thicker, more like vicar
No, it has to be grocer
It's green!

The history of the world, my love
Save a lot of graves, do a lot of relatives favors
Is those below serving those up above?
Everybody shaves, so there should be plenty of flavors
How gratifying for once to know
That those above will serve those down below

What is that?
It's fop, finest in the shop
Oh, we have some shepherd's pie peppered
With actual shepherd on top
And I've just begun
It's the politician, so oily
It's served with a doily, have one

Put it on a bun
Well, you never know if it's going to run
Try the friar
Fried, it's drier
No, the clergy is really too coarse and too mealy
Then actor, it's compacter
Ah, but always arrives overdone
I'll come again when you have judge on the menu

Have charity towards the world, my pet
Yes, yes, I know, my love
We'll take the customers that we can get
High-born and low, my love
We'll not discriminate great from small
No, we'll serve anyone
(We'll serve anyone) meaning anyone
And to anyone at all