Devil Like Me

Gather 'round, my faithful council
I'm down bad with a case of the blues, see, I just took an L
That's a tough look for Hell, old Lucifer don't like to lose

It was a haul back home from Georgia
Had my tail tucked 'tween my legs
I never been outfiddled, but I'm damn well sizzled
Man, I went off like a powder king

I know the smoke was all he wanted
Oh, he got it when he started to play
And I'd just struck a bet that I'd come to regret
'Cause that mortal sure knew how to slay

Have you heard this one, before?
There's a twist to the story
His instrument wasn't no fiddle (what is this?)
But he could make a man sing when he's playing that thing
And that thing was nothing I would call little (holy fuck)

He said, "I'm no more an angel, than I am any friend to thee"
But I raise a hand to Heaven, you ain't ever met a Devil like me (like me), yee-haw

Then, I got to running like a hog for slaughter cut free
'Til I stopped, and thought, "Hold on"
He's not the devil, I'm me
I said, "Son, I'm the dark lord, are you some impostor?"
He responded "Sorry, I just meant that I'ma monster"

Rumble time, bitch, click, click, boom, baddy
"Papa Pocalypse", call me that, or "Doom Daddy"
Because, when I'm dropping hits, even the Earth will move
I've already put half the universe under my boot

He was hardly one to battle, or I thought with all that prattle
Come to learn he could walk the talk (so hot)
From the barrel of his chest to the barrel of his best
Gun, every part of him was fully cocked (oh, God)

He said, "I'm no more an angel, than I am any friend to thee"
Listen up, "If you been sinning, you don't simply get forgiven for free"
I'll never be caught dead with a halo
But I wanna see you on your knees
You can count me once out-deviled, now, I know how the Devil does it
And he'll never do it better than me

Now, heed these words, all my dear demon-kind
This doom marine came in a tomby thing, with a lock that we got to find

I've seen this man meet his maker
Yet, he stands the test of time
A mean, green, lean protein, eating machine
So overpowered, that he's nigh divine
Right in the face of danger, did he place his wager
But it wasn't for a fiddle of gold
Now, he sits on my throne, and he can call it his own
'Cause that's what I bet against his soul (goddamit!)

He said, "I told you I'm good, better remember it well"
I took your kingdom, but I can continue giving you Hell
Go tell your demons, soon, I'll meet 'em if we haven't, before
Bye to the Devil you knew
Hi to the Devil you don't

Well, that's great, today's Satan's termination
Got my job usurped by my worst creation
A God-made man on a sacred campaign
Making work of Lucifer like he's playing a game

Oh, how I've shamed myself, letting him take my crown
What else to do, but remove my horns
Fuck it, I'm taking 'em off, see they were fake, after all
'Cause I'm the doom marine of whom you've been warned

I said, "I'm no more an angel, than I am any friend to thee"
If it's heating up in Georgia, I'ma give the Devil more than just tea
I'll never be caught dead playing the fiddle
But I fire up a B.F.G
You can count me once out-deviled
Now, I know how the Devil does it, and he'll never do it better than me

(Better than me, yeah, better than me, better than me)
(Never do it better than me, never do it better than me)
(Never do it better than me, never do it better than me)