Dissolving

Self-loathing bouncing 'round like you're a pinball
Wish I could find someone to see me under microscope
Sure, I could look inside myself, but
I genuinely don't know what my heart is for
It's getting hard to tell what the fuck is anything, anymore

I won't need to know when I get
Out of it, my vessel of bullshit
I won't need to know when I'm getting
Cremated, sweet fire of my deathbed

I can't help but see some good inside her soul
Kinda makes me feel irresponsible
Guess it's a self-fulfilling prophecy, but
I know I'm tired too of this self-pity shit
It's feeling like a trap I can't escape

I don't wanna die, I just feel like
I'm falling, ignoring the problem
I don't wanna die, I just feel like
I'm drowning, dissolving to nothing
To nothing
At least for now