Surprise

Sometimes I feel like a guilty pleasure
Sometimes it don't feel like pleasure at all
Face in the air like I'm trying to fool you
What a surprise, I'm just fooling myself

Glued to my phone, I'm just trying to hear you
Sweat on the glass burning holes in my hand
I don't wanna believe in a new communion
Pour out the wine, taste the blood in my breath

'Til I go and find out, it's so easy
Turn and walk away from all the sadness
Even if it feels too hard to handle
I know it's just a reason to let it fly

Bending my will but the effort is wasted
Hung up and dry, just a tool in the shed
Springing the trap 'cause it's testing my patience
What a surprise, it was all in my head

Going to Hell, guess they killed me with kindness
Drank all my time, now I'm eating the chance
Is a moment of truth such an inconvenience?
Peel off the rind, bite the fruit in my hands

'Til I go and find out, it's so easy
Turn and walk away from all the sadness
Even if it feels too hard to handle
I know it's just a reason to let it fly