Understand Me

I thank God for my mother
Hope she knows how much I love her
When it's time to pray, she won't mumble or stutter
She knew that I was loading but she didn't ever buffer
Gave me love with joy even though I made her suffer
And my pops too, food on the table every supper
Long drive to the cousin's, in the night playing Usher
The things I took for granted, the truth hurts
Miss the times it was plimsolls, p.e and blue shirts
Now some friends have passed away
Now even on sunny days the sun is hitting my face
But the sky is looking grey, told me hold my head high
But it's hard just looking straight
When there's, blood all on your mates
And death got higher rates, now school just ain't the same
No it ain't no fun and games, same stuff, different day
My friend just passed away now I can't concentrate
Sent out like a disgrace but
It's gonna be okay, that sentence is cliche

What a shame I didn't have a therapist to take notes from
But they're still expecting me to change now I'm numb
And the closest thing to life is feeling pain
Have you ever felt dead with blood running through your veins
Have you ever been free but held by mental chains
Have you ever caught the bus, when you could have caught the train
But long journeys ease the grief, all in needed was the grace
Now I'm visiting the grave, and the cycle starts again
Have you ever found it hard to speak
Crying on your knees, sentence incomplete
But inside the words are uppercase
Have you found it hard to walk, like beginner rollerskates
Trying to work it out, while carrying heavy weights
Teen years made me age you can see it in my face
You can see it in my eyes, you can hear it in the bass
I was hungry at lunchtime but I couldn't eat the plate
And I couldn't talk about it cause I grew on the estate

Cause I know drillers that would slap it in your face
Most them jiggas in the can, no they didn't graduate
Cause you can't be a joker they will jack all of your trades
And if your hustling for wage you still gotta keep a blade
Now I've got friends, and they stick closer than a brother
Not the same mother, but I know we'll always have each other
I just wish my old friends could really see so they discover
The peace that Jesus breathes, it ain't like any other
I've had tribulations pass, used to hide it with a mask
Life was going downhill like Ferdi why you coming fast
Almost crashed at the start, but I prayed to the Lord
Holy Spirit taking charge, and He's working on my heart
Now you don't get a second chance, will you scream or will you dance
It's a warning in advance, you'll receive it when you ask
I prayed with open arms, and I gave my life to God
Now I'm singing all the psalms, I can feel Him in my palms

Broad ain't the way to go, come and get this water in the farm
Where the shepherd keeps the sheep away from harm
You can take all that I own, and stick a bullet in my dome
I know Jesus on the throne so I'll be happy going home
And every seed I've ever sown, will get watered till it's grown
All the love I've ever shown will penetrate into the bone
And you will always have a friend in God, you'll never be alone
Eternal life after death, hear me through the microphone, uh

I just wanna understand you
I wanna understand you, understand you