Ladies In Their Sensitivities
John Rapson
2:16Mr. Todd! Mr. Todd! I've found her I found Johanna You have? That monster of a judge has had her locked away in Fogg's Asylum Oh, Mr. Todd She's in there with those screeching, gibbering maniacs- A madhouse! A madhouse! Johanna is as good as rescued She is? Where do you suppose all the wigmakers Of London go to obtain their human hair? Where? Bedlam. They get their hair from the lunatics at Bedlam For the right amount they'll sell you the hair off any madman's head Come! We will write a letter arranging a visit And offering to this Mr Fogg The highest price for hair of the exact shade of Johanna's Which I trust you know? Yellow No, not exact enough I must make you into a credible wigmaker - and quickly There's tawny and there's golden saffron There's flaxen and there's blonde Repeat that. Repeat that! Yes, Mr. Todd Well? There's tawny and there's golden saffron There's flaxen and there's blonde Good There's coarse and fine There's straight and curly There's grey, there's white (There's coarse and fine) There's ash, there's pearly (There's straight and curly) There's corn-yellow (There's grey, there's white) Buff and ochre and (There's ash, there's pearly) Straw and apricot (There's corn-yellow) Sweeney'd waited too long before- "Ah, but never again," he swore Fortune arrived. "Sweeney!" it sang Sweeney was ready, and Sweeney sprang Sweeney's problems went up in smoke All resolved with a single stroke Sweeney was sharp, Sweeney was burning Sweeney began the engines turning Sweeney's problems went up in smoke (Sweeney!) All resolved with a single stroke (With a single stroke) By Sweeney! Sweeney, Sweeney, Sweeney, Sweeney With finer textures Ash looks fairer Which makes it rare (Good) But flaxen's rarer (No! No!) Yes, yes, I know- (The flaxen's cheaper) Cheaper, not rarer Now off with you, off. But, Anthony Listen to me once again When you have rescued her Bring her back here I shall guard her while you hire the chaise to Plymouth We'll be with you before the evening's out Good Thank you, Mr. Todd. Thank you Most Honorable Judge Turpin— Most Honorable— Honorable! I venture thus to write you this Urgent Note to warn you That the hot-blooded— Young— Sailor Has abducted your ward Johanna— (Johanna!) (Johanna!) From the institution Where you So wisely Confined her But, hoping to earn your favor I have persuaded the boy to lodge her here tonight At my tonsorial parlor In Fleet Street If you want her again in your arms Hurry After the night falls She will be waiting Waiting Your obedient humble servant Sweeney Todd