Bumpy Roads (Feat. Flowz Dilione)

Man I been in a dark place I can't describe it
Emotionally numb, I try my best to hide it
Had this girl back by my side, thought the time was right, without this music in my life I doubt I be alive

Why do I feel everyone be turning on me?
Become a hermit and start cutting my circle from me
Actually hurt, trying to pick n choose what I deserve
These docs feeds me pills. it's honestly disturbing to me

I've used sharpened blades to Carve my veins
That's the only way that I used to mask the pain
I felt this way since I was half my age
I been in the dark about to hit a tonne of darker days

I needa vent my heads a mess
I'm overly stressed bruv but I'm all in my head
Depression got a tight grip and I'm losing my stance
When's this gonna end? coz this ain't feelin right man

I fell victim to the substance abuse
Thought I had nothin to lose
I opened my eyes thought maybe I got something to prove
Pushin my family away thinkin they ain't love me
Don't bother wasting my time as Time is money

Don't trust anyone if they Actin funny
Catch a knife in your back that shit's unlucky
Pain is temporary, the scars are permanent
I'm looking up
Everything I got I know I'm earning it

Ay... I been lost in the darkness
It's been a bumpy road gotta attach to a harness
I was lost from the start so I take a deep breathe
I figured out that Im lost in the past tense

Oagz told me to ace these beats
Man I'm so high I can vaguely see Erase my thoughts when I blaze on weed
Trying to find a way just to chase my dreams

Try think what I spoke about
Im gettin so faded that I float around
In a cloud of smoke, I'm blowing out
It's sink or swim but I chose to drown

I still feel alone when these hoes around
I wanna stick with the music
I'm so sick of overloading doubt
Got no faith still thinking why do I do this?

I wish time would slow down but it never does
Last year was crazy but I know ive gotta level up
The pressure turning into stress yer it's gettin fucked
The man I wanna be and who I am it doesn't measure up

All these pills I'm taking got me in and out of different zones
The only time I hear my brothers voice is on a prison phone
I tell him that I love him and he tells me that he's missing home
6 years of separation got me feeling distant bro

They talk about me on the net and try to bring me down
I made a bit of money and they saying that I'm different now
I bought a nicer car and moved into a bigger house
How can they be hating on me honestly they're tripping out

I told my story up on zoku try and picture this
Mumsy gettin' physically abused i had to listen in
Too young to try and help cause I was just a little kid
I'm crying as I write this mum I'm sorry that I didn't kill him

People quick to judge they're hurtful and aggressive
Try to put yourself in someone else's shoes before you send a message
Everyone is beautiful our imperfections make us perfect
If they don't respect your body honestly they don't deserve it

That's a bar for all the women gettin treated badly
Baby you're a queen find a man that really makes you happy
You shouldn't have to dress a certain way to feel attractive
Love yourself first cause honestly that's all that matters

I'm making money but it doesn't help me sleep at night
PTSD of gettin Beaten that's the reason why
Nothings set in stone my life I'm tryna redefine
The road here was bumpy i aint ever have an easy ride

Designer clothes to try and cover insecurities
I'm tryna navigate the fame cause all of this is new to me
Girls wanna fuck me but I'm looking for a soon to be
They ask me if I love them and I always answer truthfully

I'm having nightmares at night like an old vet
Flashbacks of war have me waking up in cold sweats
Girls thinking that I'm hard but I'm affectionate
Baby I'm real one I ain't ever scared to hold hands

I took a step back I'm looking where my life's at
I Think about it deep enough it makes me wanna cry lad
I used to dream about a Rollie now I have one
But no watch I buy will ever let me get that time back