The Company’S Ugly Sweater Contest

I don’t get paid enough
To dress like a dick
I don’t get paid enough for
So fuck off with this shit
Susan, I’m fine
But you must know the truth
The ugliest part of your sweater
Is you

Susan, can’t you see it?
The wool is pulled over your eyes!
This sweater is not festive
It’s just a bunch of corporate lies!

It’s not just a sweater
it’s a fabric of control!
Have you lost all respect
Have you sold, your soul?
Oh!

I don’t get paid enough
To dress like a dick
I don’t get paid enough for
So fuck off with this shit
Susan, I’m fine
But you must know the truth
The ugliest part of your sweater
Is you

No, no, look at me, Susan!
Trust me, this isn’t about last year’s contest
When the boss made fun of my sweater
He said my sweater was low-effort
So for the next two weeks,I filled a dozen bottles with piss
I poured the bottles into his desk drawers
And when he finally opened one of the drawers
He passed out from the smell of my piss, Susan!
He hit his head on the desk, falling to the ground.
This had been on a Friday afternoon, Susan!
So he was passed out in his office,covered in my piss for an entire weekend!
Does that sound like low effort, Susan?!

So, grow up, Susan!
Wear your ugly sweater, Susan!
You're brainwashed, Susan! 
You're a sheep, Susan!
You have no identify, Susan!
Obey your masters, Susan!
Are you listening to me, Susan?!

I don’t get paid enough
To dress like a dick
I don’t get paid enough for
So fuck off with this shit
Susan, I’m fine
But you must know the truth
The ugliest part of your sweater
Is you

I don’t get paid enough
To dress like a dick
I don’t get paid enough for
So fuck off with this shit
Susan, I’m fine
But you must know the truth
The ugliest part of your sweater
Is you