Act As If

You just need to be more deceiving
Make them believe that whatever is in the files has the British scared
The British worried
The British doing their best to hurry
To get those files back
Or the Germans have us beat
That the briefcase holds the key to a British defeat

Act as if
You do when you don't
What?
Act as if
You will when you won't
I don't follow
We'll win
Sure enough with the old double bluff
Just act as if you do when you don't

Haseldon you genius
I know you've got this down
It's just a simple matter of making sounds around town
Yes Sir, of course Sir,
I'll give it my best shot.
There's a good man
Thank you, over and off
What?
Oh God what an idiot!
Monty! 
I mean really it's not that bloody complex the man's a complete fool
You just called him a genius
Yes, I lied he's just a tool and for tools to get moving then falsehood's the fuel
For when you need a moron to tackle a task
You call him a genius and he'll do what you ask!

Act as if you do when you don't
Some files have gone astray
Act as if you will when you won't
We need 'em back without delay
He may sound dramatic but
At least they'll think we're panicked
Act as if you do when you don't
Right well I'm off
Ugh, should you really be taking that
Why, Shouldn't I?
Well, secrecy procedure unless I'm very much mistaken
That's the rules
Charles the rules are but a trifling inconvenience and they don't apply to us!
You should know you're a genius!
(GASP)
Anyway must dash, Jean awaits me at the Ritz, 
But can you check if the sweatiest spy in Spain is out fooling Fritz?
You'll never guess the flippin' mess the British boys are in
We're finished if our missing files find their way to Berlin
It's do or die are aces high?
The Germans will win if Adolph spies his little eyes on what's within "wink"
"Que?"
Monty hear, hear!
You agree?
Course I do, you've got it quite right
It's not insane to say our brightest brains should have free reign to do as they like
Exactly!
You're a maverick you mustn't be held down
Now spill the beans
Tell me your dreams
Shall we get another round?
I've probably had enough
Nonsense! One more for the road
The night is young and I want to hear all that you know!

Act as if you do when you don't
Tell me your secret
Act as if you will when you won't
I promise I'll keep it
Loosen his lips and maybe he'll let slip
Just act as if you do when you don't

I can't speak long you see
Tonight's the ambassador's soiree
There'll be some spies who I need to lie to but I called to update
That my source down in Huelva just came through with news,
The Germans have taken the documents
Phew!
Thank God!
So they should make a play for them soon?
As long as Haselden's done his job, but we shouldn't assume
He's in a nest full of vipers and perhaps he's not immune to the pressure and strain,
Charles, is Monty acting strange?
No
Are you sure?
Yes
Quite sure?
YES!
Then perhaps he's not to blame
What?
Some files are missing sir, where they've gone's not quite clear
The loss of each
A serious breach
It could end my career
Their contents could fetch a high price for a profiteer
And I'm beginning to fear
Someone here's not what they appear

Act as if you do when you 
We must retrieve them
Act as if you will when you
The enemy can't see them
If Monty's deceiving he must have his reasons
Act as if you do when you don't
Cholmonde-ley
Sir?
Montagu
Johnny boy
What's the news?
The briefcase has gone to Berlin
For review
So the top brass have seen it
Are they moving their troops?
No
What the deuce?
If they've had it for days and there's been no movement
We have to conclude they may know it's a ruse
Oh god
Come on man have some faith!
What, in you?
You think because they've taken it there's no way to fail
But if they see the fakery the invasion's derailed
So I'd probably start praying if I were you
Because if all of this fails then it's down to you two

Act as if you
Act as
Act as if
Act as if you do when you, don't
Touch that
You do trust me?
Don't you Charles?
Act as if you will when you don't
"Er, of course"
Act as if you will when you won't
"There's a good man"
The British are scared
The British are worried
The British are doing their best to hurry
The British are scared
You think that there's no way to fail
The British are worried,
The British are doing their best
Some files are missing sir
To hurry
But if you're wrong
The British are scared 
Where have they gone
The British are worried
The invasion's derailed
The British are doing their best to hurry
So I'd probably start praying
The British are scared
The British are worried
If I were you because if all of this fails then it's down to you two
The British are doing their best to hurry
So act as if you do
Act as if you do when you don't
Please God we need this
Act as if you will when you won't
Let them believe it
Soldiers die if we don't lie
So act as if you do
Act as if you do when you don't
Act as if you do when you don't
Act as if you do when you don't
Act as if you will when you won't
Act as if you will when you

God I can't stand it
It's not going to plan
There's so much at stake when you're making a man
Disaster awaits if they see through our sham so
Act as if you do
Act as if you
Act as if you do
Act as if you do
Act as if you do when you don't!