Three Little Pigs

Story time! Yeah
The Three Little Pigs

Once upon a time, there were three little pigs
One day, when they were all grown up, the three little pigs decided
That it was time to build their very own houses
The first pig wanted to build a house as fast as possible
Because he was obsessed with his guitar

Greetings, my dudes, check out this song, I don't want to work
I only want to play, I'll use cheap straw so I can rock all day
So the pig made a house out of straw, it only took him five minutes
Watch this ham jam

The second pig decided to build his house out of something else
People think a house needs to be strong, my brain is huge
I know that they are wrong, I'm much smarter than other little pigs
All I need is a bunch of twigs

So the second pig built his house out of sticks
Then stood around outside waiting for people to walk by
There, I'm done, Where is everyone?
I need to tell people how smart I am
Was he actually that smart? Zach
I have a feeling we'll find out, Reggie

The last pig thought long and hard
About the kind of house she wanted to build

Strong and dry with no leaks, I'll build a proper house
It might take weeks, straw is flimsy, rain gets through sticks
I'll work super hard and I'll use big bricks
So the third pig built her house very carefully, brick by brick
Meanwhile, the first pig played the same song
Over and over on his guitar

And the second pig bragged to everyone who walked by
Blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah
Both pigs were a little annoying
Does it say that in the book?
No, I'm just guessing

After a lot of hard work, the third pig was finally finished the house
Yay, I'm done, It's finally time to stop, now I'll eat this bowl of slop
The end

Uh, no, the best part is coming
You see, there was something big, bad, hairy
And terribly smelly, watching the pigs from behind a bush
Reggie, what are you doing?
I'm smelling the book
Oof, it does smell bad on this page
Wow, you're right
It was a big, bad, stinky, old wolf

Yes, I'm a wolf, the big bad sort
I'm hungry for lunch, how about pork? Uh that means pig, huh
The wolf went to the first pig's straw house
Luckily, the pig saw the wolf coming
And ran inside his house before the wolf could eat him

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
And I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down

The straw house scattered into a million pieces
And the first pig was blown all the way to his brother's stick house
Ah, boo, I was hoping for a meal
Wait, I hear something nearby
The wolf followed the sound right to the stick house, but once again
The pigs ran inside the house before the wolf could eat them

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
And I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down

The stick house was no match for the
Wolf's insanely powerful breath
Both pigs were blown to their sister's brick house
The wolf ran after them, but it was too late
The three little pigs were huddled inside

Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
Little pig, little pig, let me in
Not by the hair on my chinny-chin-chin
And I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow your house down

Huh? Okay, I've got this, What!
The wolf had blown as hard as he could
But the brick house was still standing
Go away wolf, run right along, you can't eat us, my house is too strong

Yay! I'm glad he didn't eat the pigs
The pigs had a party inside the house to celebrate
But they didn't realize the wolf had one more idea
To climb down the chimney

Yum, yum, yum
It's time for lunch
I'll climb down here and eat three pigs at once, ha ha
The wolf had one foot in the chimney when a friendly cloud appeared
Excuse me, may I ask what you're doing?
I'm just, um, cleaning the chimney for my friends
The three little pigs

A wolf doing something nice for pigs? But don't you eat pigs?
Oh, eat pigs? No, I'd never, that sounds absolutely
It sounds like the best thing ever
Yes, I'm gonna gobble those pigs all up

Well, that's not very nice
So I'll huff, and I'll puff, and I'll blow you away
The cloud blew the wolf all the way to the other side of the world
He landed in a big lettuce garden and had to eat only salads
For the rest of his life
With bacon bits?
Ha! He wishes, the end