Mindstate

I fall into the darkness and I can't get out
Once again depressed, stressed and filled with doubt
Ain't no solid evidence justificating the aggravating decision
To choose a musician's existence
Shit is intense
Losing confidence
Really wanna break through but I feel defense
Defensive of the fact and the way I react when I feel this way
I'mma kill the day
Listen up, normally I'm up
But when the down comes around y'all better shut up
I'm encaged in my own rage, my own resentment
This state of mind normally stays for a day but hey
I really try to be the nicest guy
But sometimes my insecurity slides me right
Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Phil
I'm either an asshole or truly real
This remains for anyone if I ever offended you
I'm torn between ups and downs and the ups is losing, dude
I'm choosing to be this way
Cause it's a part of me and the lyricist that I stay
I pray to stay righteous and fight, just not to give up
And show these fools that I do give a fuck, but

I guess it's just my mindstate
I guess it's just my mindstate
I guess it's just my mindstate
I guess it's just my mindstate
I guess it's just my mindstate

I wake up and shut the curtains to hide from the sunlight
Drink a cup of coffee and I hide cause the sun might
Change my perspective on things and force me to act
And react, throw my ass in the ring and fight tonight
I stay up late, anxious as fuck
Scared that my fate is to be broke
And stuck in an illusion of grandeur
Or get suicidal like my late grandfather
I purr like a kitten yet often feel smitten
By the terrible disease of never feeling at ease
I'm displeased by everything and anything at all times
Even though I'm pleasantly positive at all rhymes
Shit, just a facade
Feel pleasant every time I hear them applaud
Yet regret sinks in when I find I'm not singing
Thinking I should've finished my school
Instead of just bringing the rhyme
Yet I'm just manic like that
Trading education for inspiration is just rap
Fuck 'em, suicidal tendencies, I need to stop thinking like that

I guess it's just my mindstate
I guess it's just my mindstate
I guess it's just my mindstate
I guess it's just my mindstate
I guess it's just my mindstate