Suffering

waking up in suffering
same as i was yesterday
cold breath speaks kindly
tells me to go back to sleep
words that no one hears
pass through paralyzed
in visions of darkness
i close my eyes
i lay my head down to rest
but sleep never comes

love evades every thought
and pills nullify my restless mind
i hate myself but i couldn't hate you
even if i tried

hiding in my purest failure
i attempt to understand
why hate and love seem so different
but are one and the same
falling out of grace i know
it'll never change
even if i tried