Keith

Keith

There's a man at the Malvern TAB
Shaved head, tatted up, 'bout six foot three
He was our neighbor when we lived on Hotham street
And though we never got his name, we called him Keith

Keith had a white Volkswagen Amorok that he parked out front his house
With a steel two-wheeler trailer that he liked to tow around
One day a mate was coming round and parked out on the street
And little did we know we had just stated world war three
Little did we know we had just started world war three

The bloke was seething
He was enraged
Knocked on our door like a dog in a cage
We opened up
His face was red
He took off his speedies and he said

Don't fuck with my trailer cunt
Don't park in my spot
It's the second time this week
And I'm about to lose the plot
I phoned up the council and the bloke said it was mine
Move your shit heap of a car
To the other fucking side

It was a Sunday afternoon in early spring
The family 'cross the road had a gathering
A pregnant woman pulled up in a CR-V
Spotted a park and said, "Well, that's for me"

Well, wouldn't you know that very moment
Around the corner come Keith
He pulled his ute up next to her and then he said quite cordially
"Oh g'day love that's my house, so you'll have to park elsewhere"
She said, "Surely you could just as easily park it over there?"
Surely you could just as easily ark it over there

And from our porch, we watched the scene
As something snapped
The man turned green
He pointed his finger
And he said it clear
Opened up his lungs for the world to hear

Don't fuck with my trailer cunt
Don't park in my spot
It's the second time this week
And I'm about to lose the plot
I phoned up the council and the bloke said it was mine
Move your shit heap of a car
To the other fucking side

Keith

It was a Tuesday afternoon we last saw Keith
The current affair crew came rolling down the street
He heard a knock and opened up his door
Shocked and perplexed "Tracy Grimshaw?"
She held the mic right up to his face
Called him out for everything and said, "You're a disgrace"
But Keith wasn't listening, his eyes were locked dead-pan
Staring at the camera crew and where they parked the van
He said

Don't fuck with my trailer cunt
Don't park in my spot (Keith)
It's the second time this week
And I'm about to lose the plot (don't do it)
I phoned up the council and the bloke said it was mine
Move your shit heap of a car
To the other fucking side (Keith, no!)

Keith

Keith