Angel Vs Demon, Pt. 5

You know
Mental Health is nothing to joke about, man
I struggle with this, on the daily
Shit, everyday is Angel versus Demon, in my head, huh
You know what the funny thing is, man?
Those who have never actually suffered
They can never truly understand
Look

These memories are hauntin', ever since a little kid
Mischievous, I was, and I cannot outrun the things I did
I'd roam the halls, headphones in, so incompetent
No sense of my belonging, was the opposite of sobering

I had no friends, no saving grace, when I was down, and at my lowest
Acne on my face, it made me question if I'm even growin'
Started smokin' marijuana, started drinkin' out the bottle
Hangin' out with all the wrong people, now in desperado

These suicidal tendencies, are comin' back, again
I swear that if it catches up, no second chance be happenin'
I lived my life, a people pleaser, now I'm dealin' with this reaper
Got my demons latchin' on, so tightly, I can't fight 'em, neither

Sounds to me, you're simply weak
And, no one lends a helpin' hand
Your family is disgraced wit' you
It's best that you abandon them
Tell me what you mean by that? I gave it all I fuckin' can
But you know, it's too late, and nothin's ever gonna change, my friend

Your sappy songs, it says a lot, why don't you practice what you preach?
You give advice, but never take it? Hypocritical, I think
Who are you to come, and judge, actin' like you truly know me?
Just a voice inside my head, I move like Obi Wan Kenobi

Still lost, tryna find myself
Lookin' in that mirror
Like, who am I, I, I?
I'm tired of the pain
So tired of the games
I just wanna be alright
No lie, yie, yie
Still fightin'
Oh-ohh
I'm survivin', in this cold
One thing that I know, these demons
They will never take my soul

Your step dad was abusive
Know you wanna beat his ass
I will not resort to violence
Even though, despite the fact
Your father left, when you were two
Before you ever really knew him
No wonder, you're tramatized
Your childhood was fuckin' ruined

Still, you gotta toke at night
To calm your nerves, or ease your mind
I'm caught up, in rotation
Like the earth, in orbit, all the time
You must admit, you're never fine
But, I think, I'm one of a kind
And I think, I'ma make it through
You sure on that? I can't decide

I found my purpose, when I write
I'm healin' lives, up on the mic
I bend, but I won't break
I got my faith, and God is on my side
Lets be honest, brutally
Say it, with transparency
You don't wanna rap no more
This burden, bringin' agony

And, when you pass away
You'll get your ten seconds of fame
Your name will finally reach the masses
But, won't be here to obtain
It's so sad, and such a shame
Must forgot, I'm irreplaceable
My music will live on
When I'm gone, not debatable

Still lost, tryna find myself
Lookin' in that mirror
Like, who am I, I, I?
I'm tired of the pain
So tired of the games
I just wanna be alright
No lie, yie, yie
Still fightin'
Oh-ohh
I'm survivin', in this cold
One thing that I know, these demons
They might actually take my soul