A Proper End: A Stanley Parable Song (Feat. The Stupendium)

This is the story of a man named Stanley
A simple man with a moderately simple job:
To sit at his desk and
Push buttons all day long

His job was so simple, in fact
He could even work from home
And so Stanley sat pushing buttons all day
Without a thought in the world
Until one day... ...his buttons stopped working
How could this be? How would he do his job?
Stanley had to fix this!

Stanley stepped out of his
Office through the door
Took the stairway up to
Check the second floor to the right
Stanley kept his storage: That was
Where his instincts led
But instead of right
He set his sights on the
Room to the left instead

Stanley knew this room was
Not the proper choice
But he sat down and ignored his inner voice
This whole "story" thing was
Something Stanley couldn't comprehend
Let's start over and find a proper end

Stanley's buttons had blah, blah, blah
You know how this goes
Stanley had to fix this!

Stanley took the right hand
Door to- no, STANLEY, rIGHT!
It appeared that Stanley wasn't very bright
Now the story's utter rubbish
And it's frankly all your fault
Your disdain for my directions brought our
Plot line to a halt!

Let me see if I can get us back on course
Oh dear now how'd we find ourselves outdoors?
I admit, this all seems foreign
But I loathe to recommend
We start over and find a proper end

Or at least something with air conditioning
Hang on, stanley i have an idea
Let's try something different

This should make our story shine!
The STANLEY PARABLE ADVENTURE LINE!
Now the plot is much more clear-
Why'd it lead us into here...?

That's not right... No
Surely not is this much closer to the plot?
How's it worse with every turn?! -Oh
Isn't this a lovely fern?

...well? Isn't it?

No... I suppose it isn't my standards
Are just becoming painfully low

Stanley took the- hold on
Stanley's disappeared
Stanley slept through his alarm
Just as I feared
Well, our story doesn't need him!
What'd Stanley ever do?
We'll find him a replacement... like you!

Yes, it's perfect! This new
Stanley's much improved!
Other than the fact that
Stanley hasn't moved

Come on, make us a decision!
Think like Stanley! Play pretend!

Oh, I wouldn't- oh, you did
Then it's time for me to bid

You and Stanley a proper end