Physical

I'm waging war with myself
Not sure if I should listen to my body
Or the brain that's giving hell
I wish it wasn't so easy to exhale and let it go
(Don't you ever want to hold it in?)
'Cause I wanna feel this hate, this hate get physical

In meditation I would lie
(To myself, how I'd lie to myself, how I'd lie)
Breaking my own code
Pushing my limits 'til I've made myself blind
"It's not so bad"
And "I could never be like that"
All the sense that I've spent on defence
Could never be paid back
"It's not so bad"
And "I could never be like that"
All the sense that I've spent on this defence
Could never be paid back

Fuck what you made me
Look what you made me do
The vow I've taken to love all that we go through
And to understand
I've laughed off the anger, the outrage
"That's not who I am"
And yet I am

I was told to get out of my head
Release my reservations, stop making it make sense
How do I get there if I don't want to make it real?
I wanna feel the hate get physical
But I don't trust the way it feels

Ah, you know I'll never be like that
I'll accept violence at my expense
But when I turn my back
Mm, I wanna feel the hate get
Physical

Fuck what you made me
Look what you made me do
The vow I've taken to love all that we go through
And to understand
I've laughed off the anger, the outrage
"That's not who I am"
And yet I am

(It's not so bad)
Sedate me before I ever get cynical
'Cause I wanna feel the hate get physical
(It's not so bad)
Sedate me before I ever get cynical
'Cause I wanna feel the hate get physical