Oy, The Mistakes I Made

Oy, the mistakes I made
I should have spent more time in the shade
Kept the curtains closed so the fabrics wouldn't fade
Oy, the mistakes I made

Oy, the money I spent
Why'd I have to buy in Boynton for three weeks I could rent?
Instead I paid the maintenance while cousins came and went
Oy, the money I spent

I can take an insignificant pain
Turn it into a runaway train
I keep doing it again and again
It just feels so damn good to complain

Oy, the days I blew
Collecting all that stupid Steuben
Why not just a few?
Maria broke the porcupine, the frog and swans too
Oy, the days I blew

It just feels so damn good to complain

Oy, the things I've said
Slipped out in conversations, landing like a piece of lead
Making any sort of interaction something that I dread
Oy, the things I've said

An empty seat for someone to fill in
That Linda Rosen seemed so nice and willing
I used a recipe from Calvin Drilling
Things were going well 'til I tied her up with my tefillin

Oy, the mistakes I hope to make
If I live a long time, that's why I gave up cake
Now I'm sprinkling flaxseed on a three-ounce piece of steak
Probably just another mistake

I wonder if my flaxseed is fake
This is why I lay awake
Thinking about my mistakes
It just feels so damn good to complain