Never Getting Laid

We were so happy
Why not mix it up?
I'm so at peace
Yeah I can't drink enough
No way to know just who you're thinking of
I just wish you didn't have a mind

That could flip like a switch
That could wander and drift
To a neighboring bitch
When just the other night
You said you need me what gives
How did it come to this?
Boy, I know where you live

Baby I'm not angry
I love you just the same
I just hope you get agoraphobia some day
And all your days are sunny
From your windowpane
Wish you a lifetime full of happiness
And a forever of never getting laid

I think this schedule could be very nice (very nice)
Call up the boys and crack a Miller Light
Watch the fight
Us girls are fun but stressful
Am I right? (am I right?)
And you got a right hand anyway
(And only yesterday)

Was when we called it quits
I was so confident
'Till the thought of it hit
That any given night you could be using your lips
On a girl with big tits
Boy I know where you live

Baby I'm not angry
I love you just the same
I just hope you get agoraphobia some day
And all your days are sunny
From your windowpane
I wish you a lifetime full of happiness
And a forever of never getting laid
(Forever)
(A forever of never getting laid)

At the end of the rainbow
I hope you find
A good whole lot of nothing
Cause you're still inside
And abstinence is just a state of mind