Princess Problems

Times are lookin' bleak,
So princess, take a peek
See, ev'ry day it's sink or swim
Famine's on the rise
With vultures circling the skies
And prospects, well, they're rather grim

Let me break you the news, the odds can't be beaten
And a man's gotta choose: will he eat or get eaten?
Does that dampen your day? Do the facts make you frown?
Wakin' up to the real world is bringin' you down?

Well, that sounds an awful lot like princess problems
Fin'lly learnin' that life's not fair
Seems to me you got some princess problems
Ain't it crummy when folks won't share?
I could try being "kind," or... whatever you said
It's just that I'm partial to not bein' dead
So I'm stickin' to my plan
Of grabbin' all I can
'Stead of livin' in a fantasy
See, your princess problems don't apply to me

Charming speech, but are you done?
"None for all and all for none."
Such a gift of hope you give!
Yeah, well, hope's in short supply
But, still, we have to try
Well, how about we try to... live?
So that's it? You give in?
Nah, you begin to get wise
'Cause you can't fix the world bakin' apple pies

Yeah, we got a classic case of princess problems
The castle's cozy, but it's cold outside
Sure, just write 'em off as princess problems
And stayin' selfish is justified!

That was harsh, but I'm proud!
Look at you, gettin' mean
Look, the kingdom needs help!
You should go tell the queen!

But I'm stayin' on the run
Lookin' out for number one
And that's the way it's gonna be
'Cause your princess problems
Don't
Apply
To me!
They don't apply to...
Me!