Ash.

truth seeker
‘you’ preacher
go head n tell me
sweat pants
crop tops
i’m showin belly
gotchu you actin weird
actin different
unhealthy
yo daddy rich
mama richer
was born wealthy
so why you trippin?
why you red in the face?
let me know, is it me?
you could hit me to feel better
you was off the liquor?
sayin shit i don’t think i caught
you in the closet
but nobody know but me so i’m lost
you’re homies don’t know
family don’t know
is there a why?
you been pushing me away
since you told me the other night
n you was gonna tell me something
but realized it wasn’t tight
but curiosity a bitch so i needa know if i’m right
you’re homies tell me they think you a lil gay
and its aight
but when i try to tell you that,
it always turns to a fight
you say “you’d never understand”
i ask you “how can i help?
cuz i can’t sit here and explain why you should go be yourself
a thousand times bro
that shit is fine bro
we both in cali, no one i know
would have a thought bout u liking guys bro”
he said “i like girls”
told em “why the fuck is u cryin tho?
its clear that bitches aint the only thing on yo mind bro”

“i just like you”
“…what?”
“alright?”
“i- … um…”
“lets talk later.”
“okay uhh…”
“just… another day.”
“fuck. alright. ahem.”

why the fuck did he say it
how could he like me?
every since we met i know he tried to be like me
cuz i’m older by like a year
is it “B.Y.E.” or “C.Y.A.”
fuck i wanna “D.I.E.”
i’m so afraid our friendship’s over
after realizing
he caught feelings for a boy
already told him its fine
i just didn’t think the boy he liked
would be my kind
i gotta text him, gotta tell him i’m uncomfortable
type shit
he text back “oh that’s fine”
i said “are you sure”
he replied “bro that’s fine.
i’d never wanna put you in a weird spot.
thats right, i’m sorry if the shit i told you crossed a couple of lines”
i told him “okay cool bro! just a bit of advice,
don’t trust a thing like that to leave your lips if its past 9”
he said “LOL, okay bro i’m glad thats aight”
i told him “love you, bro!” n he ain even gave a reply

hey,
i just wanted to say that i don’t think that we should talk anymore
i told you things about myself that i can’t block anymore
i found a girl who i’m in love with
and i wouldn’t wanna jeopardize none of that
just to be on yo “****” anymore
i just wanna tell you that i’m sorry
hope that you can forgive me
i’m sorry that i acted like it didn’t hurt
that was the only way i could cope
and to live and learn
i won’t tell a single soul

its been nice, ash…
i’ll see u