Complacent

I've always thought I was the greatest
I've always thought I was the one
I've always thought I was the shrewdest
The battle's already been won
I've always been so obsessed
I always did it on my own
I've always thought I was the brightest
But all this zeal is now bygone

I always thought I did my best
That I did all I could have done
It was easier to accept
But in the end I only shunned

It will be ok, it will be ok
This is the kind of lie I was hearing all day
Hoping that somewhere
Somehow
Something's gonna happen
But in the shadows, there's no miracles
Can you imagine
As if I were prey to something enigmatic and malicious
Keep doing nothing from fear of impending ambushes
As if the world would change to fit my egotistical wishes
I'm not working to reach all of my artistic ambitions

But all I did was wait
For the determination to arise
Am I stuck in the web? No
I'm complacent in my disguise
Tell me why I don't deserve to reach the moon far in the skies?
I blamed the solitude for being paralyzed
I have dreamed
I dreamt
I dream
Without closing my eyes
Why open windows if I'm afraid of heights?
That's why we are gamers, we only fantasize
About the real life we could have if only we give it more tries

My music's so bad now, still I love it so bad
Even if the flames have not the vigor that they once had
So I'm faking it
I could be your waifu for a time
Cause I depend so much on what you think of what I do
Who you think I am
Don't think I'm a reserve I always hold the reigns, huh?
Should focus on the pen but focus on the eraser
I'm so sick of being afraid of wearing a new color
Now that's my life
A life with a gulf
Gulf
Between how I think with trust
And how I act with doubts
A gulf between me and the one I always boast
There's no coherence in me
And beneath all my ghosts
The face of me that doubts is the face I hate the most