Murphy And The Bricks

Dear sir, I write this note to you to tell you of my plight
For at the time of writing it I am not a pretty sight
My body is all black and blue, my face a deathly grey
And I write this note to say why I am not at work today
Whilst working on the 14th floor some bricks I had to clear
But to toss them down from such a height was not a good idea
The foreman wasn't very pleased, he is an awkward sod
And he said I had to cart them down the ladders in my hod
Well moving all these bricks by hand it was so very slow
So I hoisted up a barrel and secured the rope below

But in my haste to do the job I was too blind to see
That a barrel full of building bricks was heavier than me
And so when I untied the rope, the barrel fell like lead
But clinging tightly to the rope I started up instead
I shot up like a rocket till to my dismay I found
That halfway up I met the bloody barrel coming down
The barrel broke my shoulder as to the ground it sped
And when I reached the top I banged the pulley with my head
Still clinging tightly to the rope from this almighty blow
While the barrel spilled out half its bricks some 14 floors below

Now when these bricks had fallen from the barrel to the floor
I then outweighed the barrel and so started down once more
Still clinging tightly to the rope my body wracked with pain
And halfway down I met the bloody barrel once again
The force of this collision halfway down the office block
Caused multiple abrasions and a nasty case of shock
Still clinging tightly to the rope I fell towards the ground
And landed on the broken bricks the barrel had scattered round

I lay there groaning on the ground, I thought I'd passed the worst
When the barrel hit the pulley wheel and then the bottom burst
A shower of bricks rained down on me, I didn't have a hope
As I lay there bleeding on the ground I let go of the bloody rope

The barrel now being heavier it started down once more
And landed right across me as I lay there on the floor
It broke three ribs and my left arm and I can only say