I Farted On Santa'S Lap (Now Christmas Is Gonna Stink For Me)

Mummy beans for dinner
You know I ate 'em all
Said, "Come get your coat on"
We're going to the mall
We're gonna visit Santa
And sit upon his knee
But all that I could think about
Was how not to cut the cheese

Waiting there for Santa
Thought that I'd explode
The gas bubble blew bigger
With every "Ho, ho, ho"
Tried my best to hide it
Thought I was doing swell
But when I sat down on Santa's lap
He hollared, "Whats that smell?"

I farted on Santa's lap
Now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on Santa's lap
Now all I get...
Under my Christmas tree

I asked him for a baseball
I asked him for a bat
I asked him for some ice skates
But I'll get none of that
I asked him for a lot of things
I'll have to do without
'Cause when I sat down on Santa's lap
I let one slip out

I farted on Santa's lap
Now Christmas is gonna stink for me
I farted on Santa's lap
Now all I get...
Under my Christmas tree

On Christmas Eve I snuck out of my bed
Without a sound
And went down to the living room
Just to take a look around
It was then that I saw Santa next to the Christmas tree
His arms were full of presents
And they were all for me

And he put them on a pile
Got up to turn around
And blew a fart with such great force
Our tree almost came down
'Til I'll always cherish
That special moment when
I realised even old Saint Nic
Rips one now and then

I farted on Santa's lap
And Christmas didn't stink for me
I farted on Santa's lap
Now it seems he left one
On my Christmas tree