Retriever

Spit out my drink on the shelf
Think to myself
What is left?
Is there anything else?
Hang up my belt
How I felt doesn't matter
I melt, I'm wet batter
I'm sweltering hot
But I'm not what I thought
The plot thickens and rots
Not the pick of the lot
Flick of my watch ticking 'em off
Like seconds and then I cough
The trough of liquor down in my belly
Smelly with sauce
I'm jealous with thoughts
Awkward I tell it's a lot
Baby I'm trying to be good
Maybe I'm tying my hood tighter
A fighter flicking my lighter
If petrified wood
Maybe I misunderstood
Burning and pissing in soot
Lazy been kicking my foot
Skating on thin ice and mud
Debating to weather the flood
Hating no better than God
Raising a litter of dogs
I bite 'em then spit and applaud
Writing a letter of fraud
To my mom, my sister, then long gone
I'm wrong, I don't belong
On this planet I'm on

Oh god it's just
So easy to point my finger and leave
But don't let this place get the best of me
Oh god it's just
I've got one thing I need to retrieve
Don't let this place get the best of me

Now I'm in a spot I've never known
I thought I was grown
Thought I just guessed I could hold my own
So I left me alone
Started to sleep on my throne
Home is a drink in a cone
Can't even think in a tone
Won't even blink at the phone
Sorry I have to be here
Couldn't just pass up the fear
Willing to give it my all to follow
And laugh at the tears
Years just passing me by
Bye to my life and my pride
Why do I try?
I'll just get high and stifle the fight
If I could take back what drove me mad
I wouldn't take back the bad
The greatest times that I had
Went with 'em and even that
Alone is enough stuff
This shit up inside
Puff and poof
It goes away like vision at night
Pardon me, I get my right nut
To cut some of the seams
From this bloody debut strut
Then run at my dreams
Seems my dreams are all I need

Oh god it's just
So easy to point my finger and leave
But don't let this place get the best of me
Oh god it's just
I've got one thing I need to retrieve
Don't let this place get the best of me
Oh god it's just
So easy to point my finger and leave
But don't let this place get the best of me
Oh god it's just
I've got one thing I need to retrieve
Don't let this place get the best of me